Monday, February 8, 2010

I miss you ! :(

Watching the sunset, I think of you.
& when I think of you, I miss you.
It kills me everytime I realise we're so far apart..
when I wanna be close to you feeling the beat of your heart.
& I want to touch you, feel you & kiss you,
Why don't you come here ? so that I won't have to say I miss you.
Coz baby I need you here tonight,
& I want you never to go out my sight.
Coz baby, this distance has always ripped me,
so come closer - as close as close could ever be.
I wanna watch you as you speak in the middle of the night,
I wanna look into your eyes & hold you tight.
Why can't you just be here with me ?
Oh baby please don't say no ..
Come to me, & never let go <3

Coz I need you here with me..But I guess this is how it is meant to be
I miss you. :(



When anything bad happens in your teenage, everyday is a struggle. When your heart gets broken, it feels like the end of the world. You lose your hope.. you go berserk. You get the weirdest mood swings ever. So many mistakes.. & so many regrets. You sometimes have this urge to turn back time & to fix everything back again. You start living in terms of " What If ". You experience so much & you learn a lot. Teenage is that phase of your life.. when you become more mature & see the world without any illusion. That's what hurts. Its a stage where so many things disturb you, depresses you, shatters you.. but also makes you the person you're meant to be. It brings out the best in you. So when you feel like its the end, don't give up.. It's only a beginning to a better life, which you'll realise later. 
Teenage years might be all about drama, heartbreaks & tears.. but in the end, it's all worth it.
Coz like the saying goes, " Some of the lessons in life are best learned through pain ".

I can't believe I have just written the things above. Coz recently, I was broken down. I could feel my heart twist & churn. My world, for once, had shattered. I had had the deadliest mood swing ever during which, I hurt a lot many people. I used to talk to nobody, kept my cellphone switched off almost all the time. I fought with many, & took the others for granted. I sincerely apologize for that. I just couldn't help being that way. It felt like I've no control over myself. I didn't feel like myself at all. Seemed to me as if somebody else was taking over inside. I was struggling to come back, but everytime I tried, I failed.
Everybody kept asking me what was wrong with me but I just couldn't figure it out myself. I was a mess. & I still havn't recovered completely. My aberrant behavior kept worsening day by day. 
Maybe this is the stage where, I need sometime alone. I have been so busy with life lately that I didn't even wait to think about what I was doing ? I just needed to stay all by myself because that seriously felt the best. I felt sane & relieved. But as soon as I talked to someone, I felt so weird.. Maybe it happens with everyone at this age ? But I don't just know. I used to cry for no reason at all. Or maybe there was a reason which I overlooked.

But now.. when I feel a lil better, I think it all happened for good. I learned a lot. Bout myself. Bout the people I thought I mattered to. Bout the one's I took for granted. Bout the world. Im glad that all this happened.. coz I've always believed that everything that happens, happens for good. It took away that veil of trust that I had for everyone. It helped me so much.

What I've learned ? 
I've learned that crying & admitting when you're wrong are signs of strength, not weakness.
I've learned that love is more important than money, power or sex.
I've learned that forgiveness heals everyone most importantly you.
I've learned that laughter is truly the best medicine for the soul.
I've learned not to trust just anyone. I've learned that you can't take life too seriously.
I've learned that sometimes listening to what others have to say is the best therapy.
I've learned that how people treat you is their karma and how you react is yours.
I've learned that I've learned a lot but still know very little. There's so much more I need to learn.

But for now, Im a brand new person altogether.

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