Thursday, August 26, 2010

-Who I've got a crush on. ♥

Tonight is here, the final moment,
its now I've gotta admit what you've always meant.
Every night you've been asking
who I've got a crush on, who's been taking my breath away,
 and everytime I'm left speechless though I've so much to say.
Now my life's going to change,
the moment I admit how I've been feeling so strange..
&& that it's you who's been doing this is to me,
now I'm gonna know if we're really meant to be.
Cuz tonight I've to let this little secret unveil 
&& tell you how you've been making me feel -
ever since the day I first saw you,
I've kinda known that we've got something to brew.
&& now you ask me who I've got a crush on, 
it's like a now or never situation,
I gotta tell you who I've got a crush on,
trust me, it's no infatuation.
But how do I let the words out, oh, I feel so nervous, 
I'm stuttering & trembling, it is kinda obvious.
Cuz you are asking me who I've got a crush on, 
who I've been falling for all this time,
and you're dying to know the name that lives in this heart of mine.
I've no idea what's coming next
but I'm finally letting my heart speak out,
Its YOU I've got a crush on,
&& its you my life is all about !

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

-Could this be love? ♥

Sometimes I feel like there are words in my heart
that I want to speak out but cannot say out loud..
 the other times there are things that I feel 
but I cannot understand what they're all about.
& I don't know why my life is no more the same,
it's a new beginning I'm in love with & are you the one to blame?

Because I can listen to you talk all night never getting tired of hearing yr voice
because yr my angel in disguise. 
& I miss you even before we part, I wish to see you everytime we're apart.
& the sound of yr name send chills down my spine.. when I see you smile, I know I am fine.

Tell me baby, could this be love that I've gotten myself into?
Have I fallen for you even though I didn't mean to?
Because everytime I look for answers, my heart goes out of control,
Is it just the sound of my beating heart or is that love knocking at my door?

Because I feel lonely in a crowd when you're not here with me,
and when I've you along, I'm as happy as I can be.
I keep smiling to myself all the time & I keep wondering what's wrong with me,
Because something, something so beautiful, has changed my world completely.

Tell me baby, could this be love that I've gotten myself into?
Have I fallen for you even though I didn't mean to?
Because everytime I look for answers, my heart goes out of control,
Is it just the sound of my beating heart or is that love knocking at my door?

& you've become the sun that my world now revolves around, the new meaning that my life has found,
you've got my head spinning round&round, your heartbeat is now my favorite sound.
Because I've got this crush that's never gonna fade & for once I'm so not afraid -
to fall in love & to feel its magic, not worrying about the ending that could be tragic.

Now don't tell me baby that this could be love, 
because I know what it really is;
I had the answers all along, oh baby, you've got me so love sick.
I know what I've gotten myself into & I am not so confused anymore, 
because the sound of my beating heart is love, that has been knocking at my door.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

21st century breakdown

Don't you just hate those moments when everything, just everything seems to be falling apart ?
When you just can't control your life ? When everything that has always meant a lot to you, distances itself from you, just like that ? And who do you need the most, at such moments ? Your best friend, right ?
And what if, even he breaks you down, just like that ?

So, there comes this person.. and you become great friends. You come so close that in a few days you become inseparable. No person is of more importance to you now. You talk everyday, make amazing memories together.. and one day, one fight ruins it all. And nothing's ever going to be the same again. Ever.

I don't really know what to type & this is something that doesn't happen to me quite often.
I love writing and I can write about just anything, but this time, somehow, words don't seem to come out.
Because I'm appalled. I had NEVER expected this to happen. 
Tell me, how'd you feel when one moment, you are the most important person in someone's life and the next moment .. you are not even important ? And that too, without a good enough reason.
Best friends.. they can speak absolute shit about each other and be as close as they were, back again.
They are meant to fight.. and this relation is probably the only relation that starts and only grows, a relation that can never end. But now I know, nothing in this life can be trusted. 
No person, no relation. Anything can fall apart. Anything.
Oh, ofcourse, I do have other best friends who actually won't ever even think of doing something so brutal.. but then one such incident is enough, to break your trust or to break you, rather.
When something so devastating happens, thats when you realise how bad it actually hurts when it hurts.
Because until you don't go through this, you won't know how painful this pain truly is.
And you know what the worst part is ? The part where you get blamed for everything even though you didn't do anything.
The part where you're ready to apologize and you go, "Im sorry" and your heart keeps asking, "But what did you do?"
But you ignore that, because you're so busy trying to fix everything that you're willing to do anything.. just to bring everything back to normal.
That's what I did.. and that's why we are friends back again. 
But I'll never be able to forgive him for this.. for being so rude and accusing me of it,
for letting me go just like that and blaming me for leaving him..
for hurting me and giving me these deep scars that are never going to fade away..
for making me cry those useless tears, which were the unsaid words that I couldn't say.
I only hope that someday he will realise where he had gone wrong and regret losing me.

So, this was a one of a kind experience.. and I'll never go through something like this ever again. 
Because this breakdown was the last blow.. and there's nothing left for me to hold on to.
Trust, love, uh, what are those ? Such words don't even exist for me anymore. :)
I'll not make the same mistakes again, of making a person my world,
because they might just one day do something terrible and leave you all alone collecting the million pieces of the heart they once broke.
Now I won't let myself cause my heart so much misery, I won't let anybody hurt me anymore.
This was the final breakdown, I have learned the biggest lesson, the hard away -
to never let things get that far.

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