Friday, January 7, 2011

-Tired of being tired.

We're all walking around with those glossy eyes. "I'm just tired," we say. We're living multiple lives and having battles within, struggling to get rid of all the pain we have and yet not wanting the world to know what we're going through. Why? Because we know that explaining the pain is only gonna break us all over again. Because we are tired, but its not all from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to. Tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things that we find no enjoyment in doing. We're tired of this void, this emptiness that looms over us even when we've just so many things to do. We're tired of the loneliness even though we are surrounded by dozens of people. And we are tired of being tired. So why can't we just say it? 





Humans are so afraid to look into each other's eyes and say, "I'm unhappy, I'm broken." We've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. 






Well, I say screw all of that. Screw all the pretending and the fake smiles and the polite handshakes and I'm fines. Screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies that we spit out to cover up our problems. We are humans and we are meant to feel - to feel everything and to feel it openly. We are not metal, we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through our cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide what we are inside, because if we do, then what's left to show?

5 comments:

  1. Kudos Shrutee.. nice :),, "specially the 2nd part of it" ..

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  2. TQ(you remember me right?)January 9, 2011 at 4:11 AM

    "We've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared".

    Well miss, there are people who tend not to experience those feelings, so for them there is no question of hiding them or trying to fake anything at all.
    Being sad is just a state of the mind when one cant see any more positives.
    And being human need not necessarily mean the existence or even a sudden emergence of such feelings.
    This was just a personal point of view, you write very very well and i'd like you to keep on going.
    Enjoy and always smile n stay positive :D

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  3. oh, yes, i like the new theme on your blog :D
    cheers!

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  4. this is the reality....its time to be urself..rather than be wat others want you to be..

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  5. I guess if you cry in front of someone who's not crying, you lose.
    I'm not sure who invented that. Just the other day, I bawled my eyes out in a cafeteria stuffed with kids who just kind of giggled.
    To be unaccepted, because as soon as someone stands up and accuses someone of feeling sad, as a bad thing, everyone follows.
    I can't really explain,even to myself, what isn't fair because there's nothing to explain; what's unfair is how it is.

    ReplyDelete

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