Love, before the first sight.

Her part of the story:

Once upon a time, there was a girl who came across a boy on the internet. There was something about him, something quite different from the other boys she had known. They talked. And they talked more. He was turning out to be the kind of guy she had been wanting to know, all this time. They talked everyday. She started getting addicted to his voice. For once, she let him do the talking. She would just sit around, listening to the words coming out his mouth, smiling to herself. Closing her eyes every once in a while, she would try imagining him talking. It made her feel good. Gradually, they became good friends. Of course, she liked that. But there were days when she felt sad. Wondering why every time she could, she finally knew. He wasn't just a friend to her. She was falling for him. And suddenly, the vague face of the guy she wanted from her dreams seemed clearer. It was him. The guy she hadn't even met.

Days passed by, with them getting closer and closer and with her, falling harder and harder. 
She couldn't get herself into believing if at all it was possible, to fall in love with somebody she had barely physically met? 
But it indeed was - she herself was the example. And there was no stopping to it. 

She struggled everyday, as keeping her feelings to herself was getting tougher, day by day. She wanted to tell him about everything that had been going around in her head the whole time. She wanted to share with him the imaginary pictures that she had of them, together. She wanted to make him believe that he was the only guy she would ever want to marry. 

Every night, when she failed to do so, she wrote about every little thing that he did that made her feel happy. 
That helped her in keeping the hope that she had of them being together, ignited.

Months passed by and they still hadn't met. 
But she kept calm. She knew that it was all going slow for a reason. 

Finally, after four months of knowing each other, they decided to meet.
And they met.

The moment she first saw him, saw him for real - she knew right then - this was the guy she was going to be spending the rest of her life with. It sounds dreadfully cinematic but that's exactly how it was. 
When he held her hand for the first time, she wanted nothing more than to hold it forever. When he hugged her that first time, she didn't want to let go. 
And then, she watched him talk - in that amazing voice she had been hearing over the phone all this time. Funny how he turned out to be exactly the way she had pictured. Every now and then, their hands brushed against each others, making her heart skip beats. And just when she would try composing herself, their eyes would meet, making her go all breathless at once. 
They talked away the evening and it was such a delight. It all seemed beautifully surreal.
This meeting was the exact mental picture she had built up in her head. Rather, it was even better because it was real. In the end when it was time to leave, he hugged her so many times, making that evening, all the more unforgettable and significant. 
And then they said goodbye. 

Walking down the road, she thought about that one moment when she almost told him about her feelings.
He wanted to know and she really wanted him to know. Half of her wondered while the other half was still mesmerized by the moments she had just lived. His fragrance lingered all around her. His touch still felt fresh on her skin. His words still echoed in her ears... 

This was it, she decided. If at all he had to know about the way she feels about him, it would be now.

Taking a deep breath and with shivering fingers, she opened up the notes on her phone and sent him everything that she had been writing about - since the first day they started talking 'til that meet, everything. 

And that's how she told him about the love she had for him, since the time he had said "hello", since the time he was just a picture in her head, long before they met, long before the first sight. 

(to be continued.)

Better Days.

Is there a place where I'd belong?

Without trying to fit in, without having to give in,

A place where the wrong -

Wouldn't exist, only the right would persist.

The mental games that humans play,

The anguish instilled with the words they say,

The hatred, the rage,

Wouldn't really be anywhere,

And so, no fear -

Could ever bring me down,

No restrictions and no bounds,

Could at all be found.

In that place, I wish I could be,

In that place, I'd be free.

Is there a place where love isn't just a word?

Where there are no lies, and there are no goodbyes,

A place where the boulevards,

are to be walked down by hearts unscarred.

The tears that people cry,

The agony with which they die,

The distress, the mournfulness,

Wouldn't really be anywhere,

And so, no hurt here,

Could ever bring me down,

No pain would be so profound,

and where laughter would be the only sound.

In that place, I wish I could be,

In that place, I wish I could see,

The same world in better ways, 

The same us, living better days. 

The Savior.

Life isn't easy. Problems are a part of everyday. But its the not problems that make our lives difficult, its facing them that does.You cannot just face them alone. Being and then staying strong doesn't come naturally and everybody needs some kind of support - a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry upon, a comforting hug and a soul that can listen to you, in your times of need. Everybody has got that one person in their lives, who makes it easier for them to go on, who give them the strength to fight by just being around, all the time. When you know you can rely onto somebody, no matter how tough the situations are, you know you'll get through it, don't know how.. but someway, somehow. 

Its like that person becomes a getaway for you and you forget the entire world and its existence, when with them. You're released of all the difficulties and worries that you had been pondering over, the moment you see that one face. And you open up the book of your life to them, like they are only a part of you. Even when your world is falling apart, the thought of them brings down a calm upon you. Its just so wonderful to have somebody, whose hugs breathe into you a new hope, whose soothing words inflict in you the optimism to witness a better state of life.

This post here is to appreciate the presence of this one person in MY life who is of such help right now and I'm so sure he doesn't even know about it. He actually isn't even trying to get rid of my fears or making any such efforts to make it better, and yet there he is, being the angel that he is, the hope, who makes me look forward to a tomorrow. He's the ray of light that guides me through the array of darkness. He's the one soul I have such immense faith in, that no matter what, will never fade away. He is one person who makes me feel secure, who takes all my pain away and saves me from the rain, every single time. He's The Savior - MY Savior. And he's here to stay. :)

He'll never know.

There's this girl. Oh sure she is beautiful, there are so many guys running after her, craving for her attention. But she is dazed and she can look nowhere else as long as he is in sight. Her face lights up every time he talks to her, her smile touches her eyes when he tries being funny, her heart beats without any rhythm, her eyes sparkle as she adores the guy who has all her attention. Every time they have a conversation, she acts calm and composed, even though there's a storm raging within. Every morning when her eyes open, she reaches for the phone to check if he messaged, if he hasn't, she looks at his picture and smiles; that gives her day a good start. Every night before she falls into deep slumber, she rewinds through her day and realizes that most of the thoughts she has had, are of him. And then she wonders, does he know? 

Of course not. She realizes that she is just another friend to him or another pretty face trying to win him over. She is just a face in the crowd, in his life, unlike how he has the spotlight in hers. 

Maybe its just a crush and maybe she'll stop feeling the way that she does now. Maybe he isn't the one. 

But these thoughts don't stop her. The more she tries to make herself understand and accept the reality, the more she finds herself being in love with him. Because when he holds her hand, she feels like she belongs somewhere and when he hugs her, she wants it to last forever because the only thing in the world that scares her is that she'll never feel that safe again. Just his company makes the world look so sane. Oh how she can listen to him talk all day. 

But once in a while, she finds herself losing control. She hates all the other girls he is all so nice to. For once, she wants what she knows she deserves. She wants to be the girl who changes his life, the one who is the best thing that has ever happened to him. But he cannot be blamed for not treating her the way she should be, he doesn't even know. And will he ever know?

Will her subtle hints help him put together the pieces of the puzzle together? Or will he always be oblivious to everything? 

Maybe she should let him know. But she won't. She's scared of the reaction she might get. She doesn't want the mystery to resolve either. She doesn't want to know the other half of the story yet. Because right now, there's still a slight chance that he might actually feel the same way and whenever this thought crosses her mind, she finds herself happy.. for a while atleast. 

What he means to her cannot be explained, neither will it be ever shown. 

So he'll never know, he'll never know what he has been missing on. 

Is she disappointed? No. She is happy in the little getaway world that she has created, and even though there's a 'maybe' here and there, there's still hope, shining upon her from everywhere. :)

Living in the memories of you.

Where are you now, its been a while since I heard from you,

Do you even remember me anymore?

Because before I left, you promised you wouldn't forget,

All  that we went through, everything that we knew,

You promised you'd remember, the memories of December..

Those days, those nights, those laughter & those fights,

You told it'd be hard, when we'll be miles apart,

And now that we are, like the enemies of a war,

It hurts when I think of us, also when I miss you so much,

Thinking of you I cry, everyday I die,

Every moment I wait, I stay up 'til late,

Only to hear from you, only to hear your voice,

I listen to our songs all the time, they work as your disguise.

Every morning's a disappointment, still not a word from you,

I distract myself and I somehow get through..

But its funny to see, how you are so happy without me,

And I wonder if at all you feel the way I do..

Because I'm waiting for you, I need you here right now,

I'm sick of living in the memories of you.

Just when I need you the most.

Sitting by the waters, in the twilight

Lost in the waves that come and go by,

The grey clouds take over the darkening moonlit sky;

My heart gives out a cry and I don't know why.

I close my eyes to ask it why, your face flashes in my mind,

I have nobody next to me, nobody behind..

The soft breeze plays with my hair;

I look around but you aren't there.

I only wish, I only crave, 

For one touch of you, for one warm embrace..

You love me, you need me but why aren't you here?

To take away this emptiness, to make this pain disappear..

The waves call out to me as I silently weep,

They sing me a lullaby and it rings me too deep,

The wind lifts me up, it tries to set me free;

But as I listen to the music of the nature,

My heart sings its own melancholy.

The lightening strikes and as I open my eyes,

The raindrops hit my face and I realize,

You aren't here, just when I need you the most..

As the night crawls and as my tears fall,

I wonder why you aren't around..

Just when I need you the most.

Things change, people leave & life never stops for anybody.

Funny how day by day nothing changes but when we look back, everything is different? Well, actually we are always undergoing the process of change. Our thoughts and beliefs change by the minute. But we are so blinded by the moment we're living in that we don't pay any attention to it. We blame it on the mood, on somebody's advise that we think might have influenced us for a while. But no, its in our nature, we change. So you think tomorrow won't be any different from today, but it is really. Everything is different. Our mood, the date, the time, even the air as we breathe isn't the same.. and even us, as we grow a little everyday. So a person appeals to you one moment but you don't feel the same way the next. Impressions change, opinions change. So you think you'll always mean as much to someone as you do now. But no. Priorities change, people change. They turn into everything they had once promised they'd never be. So much can happen in only a moment, you know. You might lose your most prized possession or the most special person in your life, just like that. And will your life ever be the same? No. The meaning of life will change. That's why promises cannot be kept, that's why they shouldn't even be made. 

There are certain things in life, however, that can never change. But ofcourse, they are rare. Very very rare and its tough distinguishing between them in this ever so changing world. But that doesn't mean we should give up on the idea of life. We are accustomed to deal with such changes. These infact, only help us grow as a person. We learn something everyday, with every little happening that we experience - consciously or not. We grow stronger with every hurt. We learn our lessons with every mistake made. We realize who the true friends are and how we should not trust easily. We come to know that everything that happens, happens for a reason. We learn to hold onto the people who will be the only stable things in our life when everything else changes. That's when we come to know that the word 'forever' is only an illusion that we crave for.. a dream, a really really distant dream. We realize that nothing lasts forever. That's when we are actually able to tell the difference between the things that change and that don't. And that's when we know, we've grown up. So when things change and friends leave, call it a lesson learned and move on. Because they left for a reason. Because sometimes, things fall apart so that better things can fall together. Ofcourse it hurts now, but hey, even feelings change.