& as it rains tonight..

: I stand in my balcony all by myself.. 

watching the world race, time run & people change.

The close ones not so close anymore, they seem to be walking away slowly. 

The laughters from the past echo in my mind & the happy memories seem so distant.

Illusions are breaking, I now see a whole new world.. 

where nobody cares, nobody loves & every living soul is ruthlessly mean.

A real dark world, where hearts pour, not love but pain.

Everyone seems so busy. I feel unimportant, unwanted.

Maybe its all in my head but this phase, is a nightmare.

I'm scared.

My broken insides are now taking over & 

the fear of losing it all once again, is engulfing me.

I feel weak & so I curl up in a dark corner.

Heavy rain & roaring thunder are keeping me company.

I now think of the people I love so much - 

my family, friends & ofcourse, him. <3

I remember how profoundly they had changed my life when they first walked in. 

My friends. Best friends. Nostalgia takes over & I smile at the yesterday, 

a time that seemed so bright and so unreal.

The smile fades as I think of them now.

They are changing.. or maybe they ain't.

I'm not sure, but it scares me, losing them. 

For once, I want to be proved wrong. 

I want to see the people I'd do anything for, do the same for me.

And as it rains now, both outside & through my eyes,

he walks into my mind. A moment ago, I was breaking down

but I don't feel so anymore.

I feel the negativity drifting away, a smile lighting up my face.

Maybe I'm not so alone.. maybe there are people who I mean a lot to.

I should trust them. I do.

And his thoughts make me feel a whole lot better, I wonder what his actual 

presence might do. :)

I see mum coming to me holding two coffee mugs. I smile & wipe off the dry tears. 

I walk to her & give her a tight hug.

And its still raining, but not in my heart anymore. :)