Tuesday, November 3, 2009

High Expectations. Right or Wrong?

Sometimes. Just sometimes. I feel bad.
I don't know why. Love is everywhere around me. 

I see some happy couples && some breaking apart.
&& I sometimes come across one such a couple, who for once,
make me feel envious, you know? It's like the other day, I came across
a blog. Now, this guy had penned down all his feelings for the gal he loves.
It touched me. The way he had expressed && the emotions it had. It really did.
&& Then a thought struck. Have I ever been loved to such an extent? Do YOU 
love me this way? Am I as special as the gal, to you? 
You always say, " I love you a lot. I just don't show. " What does that mean?
I mean, come on, feelings won't be called feelings unless you let the other person know.
Until you make the other person feel what YOU feel. 
But but, it's just that, I've different desires. If you love me, I want you to do lil things everyday, 
that would assure me, that you really do love me. I want to feel special the way I sometimes make you feel.
Lil love notes, cute dedications.. that would bring out your feelings for me..When on phone, you can just say an " I love you " in between that would give me butterflies. That's all I want.
But, actually, it's a bit too much I expect from you, don't I? 
I mean, I can't change you && make you have all the qualities I ever wanted my dream guy to have, can I?
I can neither sit back && sob thinking that I mean nothing to you. Coz I know I mean a lot to you. You just don't know how to express, right? 
So here I am, making myself understand.. 
I should be happy with what I have. I shouldn't care about how much you love me. I should be happy enough
knowing that you love me atleast. I shouldn't care whether am your first or last. I should be happy that I atleast am a part of your present && that, at one point of time, I was everything to you. I shouldn't try changing you. Coz I fell for the person you are now && the person you've always been. I should trust you with all that I have. I should love you more than I can ever love anyone. Without expecting anything back in return..&& even if sometime in life, you leave me, I should just be happy with the fact that, I was loved by you in this life. I should. But I can't. Coz somewhere, my heart has got all these high expectations.. that says oneday, you'll make it smile && give it all the happiness it had been looking for. Yes, you can call me selfish. Coz when it comes to you, I can cross all limits. You just mean so much && I want to mean the same to you.
Tell me you love me && that i'm your necessity. && that you can't live without me. && that you miss me every moment when i'm not there. It's the lil things that matter the most. It's not that i'm unhappy with you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me && that can ever happen. I JUST WANT TO FEEL SPECIAL TOO :| Can't you do that even? :(

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